You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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