This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
