Already got asked if we're dating
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
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