So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
This toilet bowl is my home.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
