What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
not ubering you a puppy
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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