Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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