but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
