The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
