I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
