Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
