Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
