to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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