we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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