so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
