I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Ketchup is God's man juice
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
