If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
