I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
