well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
