I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
