just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
