so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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