I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
You smell like a Billy Joel song
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
