Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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