It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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