your thong is hanging out like whoa
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
