I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
