Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
