doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Are my feet made of real feet?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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