She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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