Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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