Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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