Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
