Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
