12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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