How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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