Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
