I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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