my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
