i would punch a child for taco bell
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Randomize
