I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
