ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
