This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
It's rum buckets o'clock
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
