Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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