Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
