I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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