i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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