That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
