Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
