David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
