I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
