"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
