Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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